Then comes baby in the baby carriage…Lots of babies


Babies are such a wonderful thought until you actually find out you are having one for the first,second,third,fourth…fifth time. Having a large family was not always in our plans but it just happened that way. We got married on March 17th 2009, and everything was all rainbows and sunshine. We had previously talked about starting a family but both wanted the time to be “right”. Well guess what? There is never a fucking right time to have a baby. Why? Because they show up when the fuck they feel like it.


We were married for only a few short two weeks…yes 2 weeks when we found out we were pregnant with our first child Cameron. We call him our little honeymoon souvenir. I was the one in denial the entire short time leading up to pissing on a stick to find out I was about to be someone’s mom. Yes, we had our fair share of “scares” in the past, but with each scare came the thought of hey if shit happens it happens and we can handle it…so we thought. The moments leading up to me breaking down and taking a pregnancy test and also informing daddy to be bear that I was carrying one of his spawns was not all cute and movie like. I was a emotional, farty, bloated, & hormonal mess! I had some cramps and thought it was just my monthly visitor about to creep right on in, but as each day passed nothing. I was beyond bloated but nothing out of the ordinary. One day in the car, I made a comment to Zaine (my husband) that I had this weird feeling like I just needed to take a shit. He laughed and said, “You’re probably pregnant”. I shot that thought down and said no way I have like no symptoms and I am not late yet (my dumbass was technically late but didn’t look at the calendar).  Anywho, a few more days past and now I was at the point where I was technically a whole entire week late, still oblivious to the fact that I was pregnant. UNTIL…I flipped the hell out over a stupid chocolate milkshake from McDonalds.

You see this particular day, I was in one of my moods because I had just quit my job the week prior due to having in a nutshell a manager who was not too supportive of interracial marriage. After being treated like shit several times by this manager and even trying to go to HR who refused to place me on another team, I said fuck this I quit. I knew I could easily get another job living in Jacksonville, FL at the time so I was not tripping. I always have found comfort in food..particularly candy or chocolate. I wanted a chocolate milkshake. I e-mailed my hubby while he was at work, text him, called, him and even sent him pics of a chocolate milkshake because it was that BAD. Well like a good husband Zaine is there (in my State Farm voice) he got off work all tired, went out his way on the way home to get me a milkshake from the first place that was nearby the house. Well that place was McDonald’s who I must add I hate their food and haven’t eaten it in years. Well I did not care because all I wanted was that chocolatey goodness of a milkshake.

He arrived home with the milkshake and I was talking to my mom at the time on the phone. I took one sip and flipped the fuck out. The milkshake had melted. Yes we lived in Florida, yes McDonald’s was not close but not far from our apartment, yes it was hot outside. It was fucking melted. I went into a rage and threw the milkshake literally across the kitchen into the sink and proceeded to cuss my clueless and tired husband out. My mom was trying to get me to calm down on the other end of the phone but I wasn’t hearing it. I told her I would call her back. He went into the room, changed and started playing Call of Duty, ignoring me and my emotional meltdown. I went into our room and flopped on the bed and buried my head into a pillow…and started to cry.

Zaine was very confused and said, “something is wrong with you, you really need to get a test because I think you’re pregnant”. …

9 months later we had Cameron (ignore the date he was born December 13th we had the date set wrong on the camera because we are kinda lazy)

pregnancy and cameron 086.jpg

Fast forward to Cameron only being 8 months old…


9 months later…Kennedy (again date is wrong lol May 9th)


And then 2013…


9 months later….Cody Feb 4th 2014 (Finally changed the date lol)


And then 2015…


November 9th 2015… Kali


Fast forward to only 8 months later…


So here we are now expecting our 5th and final baby. Kali is about to turn 1 next month so we will get a little break from buying formula. I would have never thought that I would have 5 kids. Well neither of us did. We can’t even say this was an accident or any of them were, because well you know what risks are present each time you have sex (with or without protection). With our little journey first came love, then came marriage, then came five fucking babies in the baby carriage….



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